I’ve never been so angry for so long like this time, when I couldn’t stand the nagging of my neighbour anymore. They’ve been constantly complaining about all kinds of noises from our house, from our children playing, from the piano playing. All kinds of rules that they wished to be done to get their life peaceful and orderly – they tried to put it in us too. No noise after 7 PM, no noise before 9 AM on the weekend, no piano sounds because it’s repetitive and driving them crazy, all things.
I’ve been putting up with their wishes until last week, I felt like I couldn’t take it anymore. I mean, come on, we’re living creatures here, we make sounds! We make noises!
All the years and all their wishes that they had, I tried my best to compel with them. Daily, hourly, minutely, I diligently shush my children, avoiding them from making too much noise until the level that I get crazy and I have to yell, scream or be angry because they don’t listen. Or perhaps they do listen, but only for two minutes and forget about it again and have their merry go around again playing with each other. But what to do? They are only 7 and 8 years old. It’s time for their age to play and joke around. I become overly irritated and stressed because apparently, my children are just active and alive, and no, I’ve been asking around, I’ve been observing other people’s houses, we are noisy yes, but we’re NOT THAT NOISY that you have to be so dreadfully disturbed by us. We don’t even play music so hard, we don’t party, and hellow, aren’t there walls between us?
So their later request to shut my piano playing makes just no sense. Because I’ve been putting velt to soften the piano sounds, and even asking her if she could hear it (and she said no!!) and that piano is so soft we don’t even hear a lot from our own house, let alone from their house, and hello, as long as it’s between 7 to 7 (which is the official is from 7 to 10), can you just leave us alone on whatever sounds we want to make??
I was so mad until I couldn’t take it anymore. Their never ending wishes had made me a neurotic person!! I can’t stop thinking and analyzing every single sound and noise we make. Will they hear it? Will I get a message from her because of this? Is this too late? Is this too early? Every single move my children make makes me sick in my stomach, is it too loud? Will they complain? Do they hear me when I whisper? When I walk? When I turn on my blender? When we make love?
It was so so so crazy, I just couldn’t take it anymore. The amount and the constant nagging made me a real neurotic person, it drove me to a point that I had to cry out loud (in every literal meaning) at a parkir lot when I brought my son to his basketball practice. Luckily in this winter the sun goes down early so it was quiet and dark and nobody saw me crying.
I asked God what I should do in such a situation. I’ve tried my best, to be a mom, to be a wife, to be a neighbour, it just seems that I’m surrounded by difficult people. I don’t ask for loud children, I don’t ask for a (too) calm husband who doesn’t seem to be bothered with the nagging neighbour. I don’t ask for a nagging neighbour! And I don’t ask also for being myself who get so easily stressed with all kinds of things, or who tries so hard to accommodate people to the point I get crazy by myself.
I started to wish all kinds of bad things for my neighbour. I wish they had a loud child too, so they realize that children are not some TV or stereo set that we easily turn their volume down. I wish they had difficulties like mine, a crazy neighbour who complains all the time and so they know how nasty it has been to me. I wish they had sleepless nights, of all sounds their own children make and it makes them crazy.
I feel so cruel to wish such things but the amount of madness they’ve given me was really too much. I haven’t wished any single bad thing about other people for millions of years since I realized some of them did come true (and it freaked me too!). I’m always careful about what I think so I don’t send curses to people, but gosh, these people don’t make any sense! And I felt like I had to face them alone. All by myself.
In my tears, I cried out loud to God in my car, what should I do, God? What should I do? I’m not happy I wish bad things for them, but I actually want all those things to be true so at least they know what it feels like!
I somehow hear a soft voice inside my heart, saying, “Love her. I want you to love her.”
Really? (or are YOU crazy to be exact)
And who will love me? Who loves me? I have to face so many things alone here!
I will love you. I’m the One who loves you. I will take care of you, I will give you peace, I will heal you.
But how to love her? She’s just impossible.
Forgive her. Try to do things that make it work with her. But don’t be scared of her. Don’t be afraid anymore of her complaints. If she keeps complaining of all the things you’ve tried, it’s her problem and you don’t have to be scared. I’m here for you.
It’s so strange to hear such things. In the world that teaches us to pay back people, in the world that leads me to think of any childish way to even terrorize her with more noises (which I don’t know what else to do), I got this answer that I have to love her. To make peace with her.
At the end I asked my husband to answer her messages. And after this prayer I did reply to her messages as nice as I could but without flowery feelings and emoticons (I think I deserve being humanely realistic like that).
The next week, the piano man came to install the silent system on the piano. This system costs me almost 2000 Euro to make a peace with this neighbour. What a price I have to pay! The next day she texted me again, trying to find out what we’re doing with the piano. And when I refused to tell her that we actually installed the silent system by saying the man came to fix something broken, she teased me saying, oh is it broken because you always play too hard?
Some people are just unbelievable. It took me another 24 hours to be able to neutralize my rising blood tension from her rude remark.
Nevertheless, I’m assigned to love this freaking lady. It’s still hard for me especially when she still tries to terrorize me with her nags. But because it’s been asked, I will try. At least I will try to order this peace with her by installing the silent system and play only at the hours we agreed on. But further than that, I refused to be scared or to be overly guilty about anything, especially the normal noises my children make.
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Romans 12: 8