The Day When We No Longer Feel Amazed

I was walking alone from my office to Tiong Bahru Plaza one evening after work, when I stretched my neck and looked up above to see the trees and realized how beautiful is the evening sky and the tree leaves. I could see the blue-redish sky peeking between the branches. I could see my favorite plants – which I failed to know the name until now 😛 – hung on the tree trunks. Birds were hiding behind the leaves and chirping…

Then I realized, oh dear God, when was the last time I felt amazed to see the wonderful art of Yours? When was the last time I felt amazed to see the strong tall trees… how peaceful it is to walk under their wings…

I looked to the pathway… I realized how good the city of Singapore is. They give you your own pedestrian path, they plant the trees, and they let the birds make their home there in the branches. They provide all the convenience for people to walk…
I walked through the ‘leaning train park’ – taman kereta miring – that’s how I always call it. I saw people jogging, an old lady walking bringing her grocery, mothers and children playing, a middle-age man doing some exercise, a couple walking by holding their hands… Then I realized, oh dear God, I’ve been living in Singapore, this beautiful city for almost three years now. When was the last time I felt amazed to see how good they arrange the city… how good they design the public places, and how it’s safer and more freely to walk and enjoy the time outside.

Three years ago, arriving in Singapore as my first going-abroad experience, I was really amazed on all those things. Yes it’s true that my-then-loved-one was here with me. He did make a difference then. Together we tried to figure out what was the name of the tree. How is the shape of the fruit. And he loved – he just loves it – to collect the fruit and planned to plant it someday at his home. We loved to walk and sit in the parks – we even went to all different parks in Singapore and enjoyed the quiet-dull time there, enjoying the fresh air, looking how people use their time outside their home. We compared the parks with the ones we went in Jakarta – and we were so grateful we had the chance to enjoy all these convenience in Singapore. We loved to look at the tree branches, hoping to get a glance of beautiful birds, trying to find out the names, imitating their song, and laughed when they replied us.

After he left. I’ve buried myself between office-church-home. Juggling my schedule between the paper work, attending church service and choir practice, preparing my Sunday school materials, and the rest of the time I spend at home, sewing, or baking, or making some embroidery works. I even never look out the window when I take the bus. I will busily do some crocheting or reading books.

Now I’ve spent an evening walking alone, being only with myself, I’m amazed how I’ve lost the amazing moments around me. I’ve been so busy to keep myself occupied doing things – so I forget to enjoy how sweet and rich is a cup of a hot chocolate, how good is the smell of my hand-cream, how beautiful is the blue sky above, how much my life is blessed by God above!

Now, in time when the pain gradually fade away, I wonder how long I’ve been trapped in the days when I no longer feel amazed by what God has done in my life. Focusing on my life so much more then on how God has been working wonderfully in it, even in the small things He gives me to enjoy His kindness.

I’m glad, for the amazing works of my dear God, and the moment He enables me to feel amazed!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *