(a belated posting from April 22nd, 2010)

Ada kegiatan apa aja nih? 😉 bike to work? ;p hehehe berkebun? dll?
anyway … HAPPY EARTH DAY !!!

I just received that email in my inbox today. Can’t stop myself from producing a smile (though a bit sad one) in reading it. It was from my former beloved person – no, not addressed only to me, but to the whole people in the mailing list.

I smiled because these days, serious thought about him rarely crossed my mind. Yeah, he’s always been here and there in my days. My brother and sister in law always thought I still couldn’t cope with reality whenever I mentioned his name in our daily conversation. Like, “Oh, that glass? Yeah, it’s actually not mine. It’s his.” Or “I used to go here too. With who? Oh, with him, all the time.”

I know they’re very concerned of me. And though still it’s never without the least glint of sadness to remember him, but I wouldn’t say that I’m still in the misery of being heartbroken or something like that. It’s just a fond memory about someone who was my best friend, my closest person.

I smiled because though these days I’ve been getting stronger and all, but when I came to my devotional reading today and saw the date… twenty-second, I somehow thought that the date seemed a bit odd, then I remember that it was our ‘date’. Err, how to explain this in English. It’s not our anniversary, not in this month, but the date was the same. So usually we would do something more special to celebrate the day.

Today reading was from 2 Corinthians 3:18, where Chambers explains about the eternal & divine glory that will be ours as servants of God – when we keep our focus with God all the time. Frankly speaking, when I read the chapter from the Bible – something else about ‘blinded mind that in understanding the word of God’ and how ‘the liberty is in God’ – these two things have captured my thought the whole morning (I would write about this someday).So I would say Chambers explanation in this chapter is not quite similar to the other message I’ve received from the Bible.

Chambers emphasized the importance of sticking with God only, as the source of eternal light.

7 But if the ministry of death, written and engraved on stones, was glorious, so that the children of Israel could not look steadily at the face of Moses because of the glory of his countenance, which glory was passing away, 8 how will the ministry of the Spirit not be more glorious? 9 For if the ministry of condemnation had glory, the ministry of righteousness exceeds much more in glory. 10 For even what was made glorious had no glory in this respect, because of the glory that excels. 11 For if what is passing away was glorious, what remains is much more glorious. (2 Corinthians 3:7-11, NKJV)

If the glory of the ministry of Moses – who is merely a human being was so glorious, how far more glorious is the glory of the ministry of Jesus Christ – whom which we have the chance to participate in now!

Chambers has delivered this point by approaching using our tendency to depend on other human being as the example on how often we hold onto the fading light, and not focusing our sight to the eternal One.

A servant of God must stand so very much alone that he never realizes he is alone. In the early stages of the Christian life, disappointments will come— people who used to be lights will flicker out, and those who used to stand with us will turn away. We have to get so used to it that we will not even realize we are standing alone. Paul said, “. . . no one stood with me, but all forsook me . . . . But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me . . .” (2 Timothy 4:16-17). We must build our faith not on fading lights but on the Light that never fails. When “important” individuals go away we are sad, until we see that they are meant to go, so that only one thing is left for us to do— to look into the face of God for ourselves.

I smiled while I was reading this morning – because somehow I remembered that today is 22 and somehow I feel like missing him a bit, and on that exact date the reading said something about ‘how good it is for your soul to keep losing someone that meant so much to you so you can stick only to God!’

Whoa, if I had to read this two years ago, maybe I would scream and shout, “What do you mean it’s good to keep losing someone I love? Where on earth is the good point of it when I have to endure this pain?”

Yes, I’ve been through a lot, losing a lot, missing a lot of things, people, best friends, and best times in my life. But in the hardship and adversity that God has let me to go through; I had this assurance that God has never let me go. No matter how hard I’ve cried, there’s not one single moment I can claim that God has let me down. And in each day of the hardship I go through – like what the preacher told us last night in the sermon – I’ve grown to know God better and better through sufferings and pains.

So I would cherish today reading, and remember the twenty second day without any bitterness. Because I’ve learnt, that in every goodbye, I learn to be stronger. With every goodbye, I learn to dwell in God alone.

May every goodbye teach me to build my faith not on fading lights but on the Light that never fails.

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