When Bad Things Happen

Found the writing I wrote 3 years ago on Facebook! This was written soon after I had a collision with a Dutch celebrity chef. Nothing to be celebrated (even when he’s famous), but really something to copy paste here because I indeed learned a lot from it (and many unfateful occasions).

Today, 2 surgeries later, all these points are very much still applicable! 

When bad things happen in life, these I have learned:

1. (Bad) things happen. It might be your first, but you are not the first and only person in the world to experience it. Self pity is tremendously tempting, and it’s allowed for a short period of time, but it’s damaging in a long run.

2. Being calm is still the best option to go. If being calm is overrated, then turn off your emotion button. Be numb. While it’s not advisable by any mental health professional… but often it’s the best way to keep going, because the laundry never stops and waits, children still need to eat and go to school, work still has to be done. Bad things might happen, but the world still turns around.

3. A super handsome CEO comes to your rescue happens only in Korean dramas. At the end you have to clean your own mess mostly by yourself. Don’t be too bitter with this fact. While dramas and movies are refreshing and can give you some fresh air while in suffering (by daydreaming), keep in mind that fighting alone is normal! Receiving helps are blessings to be thankful; but fighting “alone” is very common in this tough world. And that’s very much OK.

4. Find and make good memories out of your miseries. Pooping on your birth bed in front of your doctors, or hitting a celebrity chef’s car, having a toddler and baby throwing a tantrum at the very top of Eiffel tower… those stupid things that made you feel like you were at the end of the world, embrace them and laugh at them (later).

5. No matter how hard was the trial, as long as you’re still alive, breathing and all that… remember that God is still and always in control. He loves you and spares you. He endures with you and gives you strength. He doesn’t forget you. You might lose so many things in the process, but being alive and saved by God is the thing you can be thankful for the most. Don’t focus on the loss, but on what you have survived. Be grateful!

6. You might have fought alone. And you agree with number 3 that fighting alone is ok and normal. But behind the screen, there’s always (at least) one person praying for you. He/she might be at the other end of the world and you never know that… but for every person in this world, there’s always one person praying for him. Don’t be discouraged, you are remembered.

7. Bad things will always happen. You feel relieved when one is taken away, but don’t get swayed. Other things might happen at any time. But that’s okay. That’s normal. That’s life. Face it, live it, embrace it.

8. Bad things passed. Even when new bad things happen, this very one will pass. In one hour, in three days, in four weeks, in six months, in ten years. Nothing is eternal but God. Not the happiness nor the pain. It will pass. Don’t worry. It’s not forever.

9. How you react in the worst of times can be a revealing to your true character. But your character grows with time. Bad things mature you. Perhaps you were the one who threw a tantrum when something bad happens, but after a few (or many) times, you get more control of yourself on how to react and handle the situations. Be proud of your growth.

10. This is not easy to understand, but yes the more bad times you’ve survived, the more evidence in your life that you are being well taken care of by God. Until now I’ve been through 4 surgeries and many other moments where I’ve almost lost my life. While in another point of view my life could be so full of bad luck, but I can’t not look at it as how much God looks out for me.

12. Bad things can happen, but it doesn’t always happen. Don’t let yourself be frozen by fear and be traumatised. Your lost love might not be your true and forever love. Your broken business might not be your right one. Your falling from the bicycle is not happening everyday. Get out from the house and try again. Don’t let the scars frighten you.

11. Bad things make you learn. You learn that you are not immortal and you have to be more careful in life. You learn that you do make mistakes and you learn not doing that again.

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